So I have been doing some thinking about the whole Army thing, right? The money is good...the stability is amazing...and there are other aspects that I'm really diggin'..like being apart of of something productive, being a family, earning my right to be a man and a soldier and all that good stuff. There's only one thing that's kinda shaking me up....the idea of taking someone's life. I'm not trying to be a punk or anything, but that's serious business. I value life so much, I'm not sure if I'd be able to just take it from someone. I mean, most dudes try and act hard like "smh i could kill somebody, it's no big deal." But could you really? Could you take a man's life knowing that that's somebody's child, or brother, husband, or FATHER? Could you take that and be okay with it? Push it to the back of your mind like it didn't happen? I don't know. I'm not big on Christianity or religion at all reall....but don't ALL religions say somewhere that you ARE NOT ALLOWED TO KILL? It's something that's naggin at me right now and I don't know how to handle it. I mean, if I get it in my head and go in with the mentality that if this dude gets through me, he's going for my family, my boys, and my country next...then maybe, MAYBE I could kill...but I don't want to get to that point where it's do or die....and freeze. Because I know that if I freeze, he won't, and I'm dead. So, maybe knowing that my value of human life means nothing to him, and he doesn't share that view....maybe that'll help enable me to do what I need to do. Right now all I can do is think about it, check my resolve...and make sure it's something I can handle...before I'm trained to do it. Damn, this blogging thing actually helps haha.
Shouts to:
Junky J (my new pastor)
Dre Dre (one of the Roommates of the Apocalypse)
Patience (the best friend ANYONE could ask for)
and everyone else that's helping me through this and supporting my decision
I love you guys, seriously
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That shit is hard to handle.I think that all of us take war to kindly. So many people die and its just gruesome but for real EJ if you join I dont want one of them to be you. It is you or them when you are in battle so know that YOU want to go back and see your family and friends and you will do it by any means neccesary...Regardless of what you choose i hope the best for you
ReplyDeleteI commend u for even thinkin of doin somethin as big as this. Its a big decision im sure but its sounds like u kno what u need to do. I feel what ever u do it will be best for u. Man follow your heart and go for it. U only live once and u dont wanna regret anything and no whether u do it or not u have no reason to regret whatever it is u do. Just pray about it and have faith in whatever chocie you make. Good luck patna
ReplyDeletenobody REALLY worries about this stuff until it's one of their own that's out there.
ReplyDeleteyou're one of my own dude.
so that being the case, i just urge you to make sure you know what you're doing and make sure you have the resolve.
you're a nice guy. but when nice guys like us get put in positions where the option to act nice is eliminated, crazy shit happens. real talk.
so i say, since i'm your new pastor,
find a bible. lol read... Romans 7 and 8.
try it out. lol you can find em online too