Peaceful Enlightenment

I sit here,the clock nearing 5 A.M., and my mind races. I don't know if it's excitement, apprehension, fear, or all of the above. All I know is, life is better than it's ever been. This Spring is the turning point in my life. Everyone has one, whether they realize or care to admit it. There's one point in your life....whether a long period of time, or a blink of your mind's eye...where you can feel everything change. The past month was my blink, my change, my epiphany. As I look behind me, I see the way my life was, I won't lie to you and say it was great, but damn it I had one hell of a ride...I look back and can't help but smile. At my immaturity, my thought processes, my outlook on life in general.

You know how people say "oh man! If I knew then what I know now I'd change EVERYTHING!" fuck that. I know what I know because of decisions I made...If I went back with what I know now, I wouldn't have made those same decisions...meaning there would be a whole new set of trials and tribulations...I'm happy with the ones I overcame..but i digress...that was just something I have been wanting to say.

ANYWAY....Like I was saying. This month has opened up my eyes man. I'm FINALLY living life...Not following the rules and doing what everybody wants me to do. I'm on my grown man right now....making my own rules.doing what I wanna do. It's liberating...like there's no greater joy than waking up in the morning, stretching, lookin around and saying to yourself, "Yup, I'm doin me."

I've grown up a lot...realized that some relationships are only meant to show you that you don't know what you want haha...The one with Courtney showed me that...I thought I wanted all this stuff...until we broke up. Then I realized I was just caught up in the hype of being in a relationship. Dont get me wrong, I love her to DEATH and always will, but we weren't meant to work out, and learning the difference between love and infatuation is important for anyone. You gotta be secure with being alone before you can be secure with anyone else! And I wasn't there yet.

I'm really just ramblin at this point...if you made it this far i commend you haha. OH! Let's talk about friendships. I've figured out that some friends are important to have around, some are essential to life, and others....well they really are just there....for no reason....and they linger....fucking linngggerrrr ya know? For instance, Quez, JJ, and Brandon? Essential to life after the vacation...those are my brothers now...We damn near died together at LEAST three times and that makes us family hahaha. Other friends, like Car, Britt, Dexter....y'all are just there...sorry to put you in the spotlight like this....but damn...y'all just linger! Everytime you say you're gonna chill what happens? "Ohh mann i was too high/drunk/stupid to hang out last night....sorry" Nahh you're good...that's what you're into then by all means continue, but uh....yeah don't expect me to drop everything when you decide you wanna sober up and kick it....Other people, like Courtney, T-Top, and a few others, important to have around. Great friends that mean a lot to me idk what I'd do without em!

well, i just felt like writing something for no reason, so there ya go!

SHOUTS TO:

the fam
BaronBoys
Navarre
Boro Boys
Kelsie Hughes
US Army and all other military branches
and anybody that actually reads this shit

Love
Honor
Respect